Domestic Violence
Have You Experienced Domestic Violence And You’re Looking For Some Guidance?
Are you always walking on eggshells around your partner? Have you been told the abuse is your fault? Do you want to break free, but you don’t know where to start and you feel too powerless to move forward?
You may feel isolated and alone because you’re living in a constant state of fear and intimidation. Although you want to find a healthy, fulfilling relationship, the idea of leaving your abuser and starting over again scares you. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed by your circumstances and lack the self-confidence to prioritize your own needs. You might avoid contact with people because you don’t want to give them the impression that something’s wrong.
Perhaps, if you are religious, spiritual, or a person of faith, it may be hard for you to juggle your faith with your desire to leave the abusive relationship. You may question your faith in God, especially if you have been advised to stay with your partner and “pray away” the abuse or you’ve been supplied with biblical scriptures that are being used to justify the abuse.
On the other hand, perhaps you were previously in an abusive relationship and the emotional wounds haven’t healed yet. You might feel depressed or insecure or experience flashbacks of the abuse even though it’s not happening. And maybe when you meet someone new, the same abusive relational patterns crop up all over again.
If you are in an abusive relationship now or have ever been in one, you need support, safety, and guidance. Fortunately, domestic violence therapy can provide you with the tools and confidence you need to make important decisions about your future.
Domestic Violence Exists All Around Us But It Is Often Hidden In The Shadows
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 3 women will experience some form of physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological abuse in their lifetime. When someone is maintaining power and control over us, it may show up as isolating from family and friends, monitoring our whereabouts, or using intimidation and threats. We might experience psychological manipulation that causes us to question our perception of what happened, our memories, and—ultimately—our sanity.
In the Black community, domestic violence is often known as a “family secret.” It is a taboo subject that we rarely talk about, even though 45.1 percent of Black women experience domestic violence. When we try talking about it, we are often ridiculed by others for airing our “dirty laundry”.
In the Black community, domestic violence is often known as a “family secret.” It is a taboo subject that we rarely talk about, even though 45.1 percent of Black women experience domestic violence.[2] When we try talking about it, we are often ridiculed by others for airing our “dirty laundry”.
The reasons Black women suffer disproportionately from domestic violence are complex. Systemic oppression—in the form of racism, sexism, and discrimination—as well as religious views, are the two main obstacles. As a result of historical oppression and present-day racism, Black women are less likely to report their abuser to the police or seek help. What’s more, our sense of cultural pride and loyalty to the Black community often makes us reluctant to speak out.
Similarly, religion plays a central role in the lives of most Black women. We are more likely to rely on religious guidance to work on our relationship issues. However, religious leaders often glorify suffering and may teach us viewpoints that keep us stuck in unhealthy relationships. For example, Black church-going women are often encouraged to “pray and stay” or “forgive and forget” to save the marriage rather than seek domestic violence counseling.
The reason we don’t seek domestic abuse counseling is that we often blame ourselves, hope the abuse will stop on its own, or think that we can change our abuser’s behavior. We might also lack the financial resources to take care of ourselves and our children if we decide to leave.
Despite these barriers to getting help, support is available. Domestic violence therapy can give you the tools for self-empowerment while you increase your confidence, learn strategies to reconnect to yourself, and reclaim your voice.
Domestic Violence Therapy Can Help You Navigate Through This Difficult Chapter Of Your Life
Living in an abusive relationship can be an isolating experience—it is understandable for you to be afraid to seek help. You may think that as long as you aren’t experiencing physical abuse, then you can manage it on your own. However, all forms of abuse are detrimental to your mental health and you deserve support and care during this difficult time.
Counseling plays an important role in your recovery from domestic violence. I will partner with you on your journey to reclaim your voice and restore your autonomy. My goal is to inspire you to take courageous steps toward healing, transformation, and freedom within a supportive, safe, and compassionate environment.
I utilize an integrated approach that includes traditional talk therapy combined with other modalities. For example, we may discuss Relational-Cultural Theory, which focuses on growth- fostering relationships, healthy connections, and how culture influences the dynamics of our intimate relationships. We might also draw from the experiences of your culture that resonate with you to find comfort and strength, such as prayer or sacred music, such as spiritual or gospel.
I may also recommend grounding techniques such as mindfulness, taking walks, and breathing exercises to help you to stay in the present moment and process distressing thoughts and emotions. Additionally, I often use Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to help your brain and body process and resolve trauma without having to re-experience it.
Regardless of where you are in your journey, there is hope. With domestic abuse therapy, I will walk alongside you one step at a time towards healing, transformation, and freedom.
But you may still be wondering whether domestic violence therapy is right for you…
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It can be frightening to seek assistance when you’re in a controlling relationship, but all my sessions are confidential and nonjudgmental. What’s more, talking to a counselor about your domestic violence experience can help you learn coping strategies and ease your emotional burden. It takes courage to get started, but I will support you throughout the process and ensure you feel safe enough to move forward.
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You are not alone. Leaving can be a dangerous process, so it’s my job to partner with you to help you gain clarity and provide tools for education, empowerment, and healing. For example, when you learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships, it may lead you to make decisions about your future relationships. However, I won’t tell you when to leave. Therapy for domestic violence victims empowers you to take back control on your own terms.
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Attending counseling with an abusive partner is not recommended. Couples counseling is only effective when two people acknowledge that they contribute to problems within the relationship equally. In domestic violence relationships, the power dynamic is off-balance and therefore the abuser is solely responsible for their behavior. Because your partner holds all the power in the relationship, you can’t be transparent and free to express your concerns. Therapy can also foster vulnerability—your abuser may later punish you for something said in session to regain control.
Therapy Can Help You Break The Cycle Of Domestic Violence
Breaking free from domestic violence is a group effort—it’s hard to undertake alone. If you’re ready to heal from the abuse and reclaim your voice, I am here to help. Please visit the contact page for more information about domestic violence counseling.